100 themes for south park
by CandieBarr6669
Summary: eventually going to be 100 short stories, poems or whatever I feel like based on 100 themes, all about south park.
1. INTRODUCTION Dip

_**100 THEME CHALLENGE**_

_** 1 – Introduction**_

_**NOTE **Before I start, I'd just like to point out that I do not, have never, and will never, in this life or the next, own South Park, it's characters (original or otherwise) or anything else to do with South Park. As Matt Stone and Trey Parker each have more talent in their baby toes alone than I do in my entire being, if you're stupid enough to think I do have anything to do with south park, you need serious help._

* * *

Mecha-Streisand was terrorizing the small mountain town of South Park. As all the other towns folk ran from her wrath, one lone, brave (or the more likely, stupid) boy walked towards her.

"Cheeri-o! My name is Pip! I would like to see if you wouldn't mind _not_ smashing out little town to bits?" Mecha-Streisand started to walk towards the little French (although he insisted he was British) blonde boy in the stupid uniform and Gatsby cap. He turned to run but was unfortunately slow and stupid so – "AAAHHCKK!" – squashed like a bug.

Pip looked down. There were his clothes with blood and – looking at his see through hand he realized – "Oh! Oh my! I'm dead!" _This must be how Kenny feels..._

As he came to this realization the skies parted and he floated up in a ray of light. He got up to a bunch of fluffy white clouds and a golden gate. A 'press here' button popped up so he pushed it. Everything turned red, black and orange. He fell away from the clouds and gates and the ground opened up to swallow him whole, surrounded by demons.

He landed by a lake of fire. "O-Oh my!"

"Hey kid."

"H-hi there. My names Philip but everyone calls me Pip because they hate me. Who are you?"

"I'm Damien. Son of the Prince of Darkness!" The boy was about seventeen but looked familiar...

"Oh? I knew a Damien once that said he was the son of the Prince of Darkness."

"No shit Pip." The boy became surrounded by black, swirling ash and when it cleared away a boy of about nine with red eyes was left standing in front of Pip.

"Oh! Damien!" Pip ran up to and hugged the boy. "But how were you older just now?"

"I'm the son of Satan moron. I can do whatever I want. Watch." Damien snapped his fingers and both boys were surrounded by the swirling black ash.

When it had cleared away, Damien was 17 again. This time though, Pip didn't have look up as high to see him.

"Hello Damien."

Pip squeaked.

"Hey dad."

"Who's your little girl friend here?" asked Satan.

"Oh my! N–" Pip began.

"This is Pip. You don't mind if she stays with us, do you dad?"

"Of course not son. The more the merrier." Satan replied while walking away.

"D-Damien? Why were you and your dad referring to me as a girl just now?"

"Come, I'll show you."

Damien grabbed Pips hand and dragged him into a castle, through hall ways, up stairs, eventually up a ladder into what must have been Damiens room. He then pulled him over to a blood red cloth covering something.

"Pip, I'd like to introduce you to," he paused as he pulled the cloth down to reveal a mirror, "Philippa!" Damien started to laugh.

Starring back at Pip from the mirror was an older, attractive, female version of the little nine year old boy he once was.

* * *

_**NOTE **Well this sucks... but I want to do a 100 theme thing with writing and sketching to improve on both since they've gone downhill since I finished school, so I guess it'll do. Originally I was going to do one long fan fic thing but changed my mind. So now it's going to be 100 short stories, poems, etc based on the 100 themes and what I feel like doing. I'm planning on basing them all off of South Park though so I'll be putting them all together. This ways probably better anyway. I don't know about anyone else, but I hate when people start a fanfic and never finish. I figure this way, even if I don't do all 100 it won't matter since they'll all be able to be read on their own. But back to why it sucks, the first theme was introduction. I suck at introductions. I was originally going to base it off of the episode Damien but ended up changing it. I wanted to stick to Pip/Damien though so here it is._

_Like I said above, I also plan on doing sketches. I'm not sure how soon after each theme they'll be posted but if you're interested just go to deviant art and search for candiebarr6669._


	2. SEEKING SOLACE Tweek

_**100 THEME CHALLENGE**_

_** 2 – Seeking Solace**_

Tweek had been laying on his back in bed, staring at the ceiling in the dark. He rolled over on his side to look at his clock.

3am. He'd been laying there for four hours.

"Oh jesus!"

He was beginning to really wonder why he tried going to bed at all. He got up and went down to the kitchen for a drink. There was always a pot of coffee made. He filled his mug, emptying the pot in the process.

"Oh man! That is way too much pressure!"

After getting a fresh pot started he went back up to his room. He sat at his desk, bringing his knees up to his chest and started sipping his coffee. A quick glance at the clock said it was quarter after 3.

"Gah!"

The more coffee he drank, the calmer he seem to get, at least in his own mind. After a while there was singing.

"Eeek! They're taking my underpants! That's my last pair! Ahhh! They took my underpants, soon they'll want my blood! Oh Jesus!"

He swallowed the last half of the mug of coffee in one gulp. He still couldn't figure out why people wanted him to stop drinking coffee. It made him feel better.

"Gah! Maybe they wanna kill me! Eeek!"


	3. DREAMS random

_**100 THEME CHALLENGE**_

_** 3 – Dreams**_

The black haired girl was laying in a field of flowers staring up at the clouds. She heard a sound after a time and sat up to see a man on white horse. He climbed down and slowly walked towards her. She climbed onto her feet and ran towards him. When she was close enough she jumped into his arms, wrapping her arms around his neck.

They fell to the ground and rolled over for him to be on top.

"I love you."

"Love you too ho."

Wendy woke up then, covered in sweat and breathing hard.

"Goddammit Eric."

* * *

A brunette man in a black uniform with a red band on his left arm was straddling a red haired boy with a knife to his throat.

"Why aren't you wearing the yellow star kike?"

"I-I'm sorry! I must have forgotten it! Please don't kill me sir! I'll do whatever you want!"

"Of course you will. But first, let's make sure you don't forget the star again."

The Nazi took the knife away from the Jew's throat, replacing it with his other hand. He used the knife to cut away the boys shirt to reveal his bare chest. The ginger Jew started screaming as the brunette Nazi carved the star of David into his chest. When he was done he pulled his pants down a bit, wrapped a hand in the smaller boys hair and pulled his face into his crotch.

"Now suck my balls Kahl."

* * *

There were shadows all around him. Yelling at him. Hitting him. He wanted to yell out to them for them to stop. That he didn't mean it! He'll never do it again! But no sound would come out when he opened his mouth. Wouldn't they ever stop?

Just as he thought that, they did stop.

He looked up nervously. There was nothing around him, just a sky blue. It was as though he was floating in the sky on a clear day.

"Butters, please stop crying."

"M-Marjorine? I-I'm not crying."

Marjorine kneeled down in front of him and wiped away a tear.

"Then what's this?"

"You have to man up Butters! They're going to keep walking all over us until you do!"

"B-but P-Professor Chaos! If I stick up t-to them then I'll get in w-worse t-trouble!"

"Then get the mehicans to help!"

"But Mantequilla!"

"We can't help you if you don't help yourself."

Professor Chaos and Mantequilla left.

"Please help me Butters." Marjorine was whispering. "Please? I can't take this anymore." She was in a rush. "They're coming back! I gotta go! Bye Butters!" she gave him a kiss on the cheek before running after Chaos and Mantequilla.

The shadows were back. Yelling at him and hitting him.

His own screams woke him up.

* * *

"Eeeek!"

The jittery blonde was laying in the fetal position in a corner of his room. Running around him were gnomes.

"Aaaah! My underpants!

"Gah! My coffee!"

A couple of the gnomes with pickaxes started coming towards him.

"Oh Jesus! They've come for my blood! Gah!"

* * *

Kenny stole Cartman's Glock 17 and pointed it at his own head.

"Try to fuckin' remember this time guys!"

And Kenny was laying on the floor, blood and brains oozing from his head.

"Oh my god! Kenny killed himself!"

"That bastard!"

"Come on, we're going to miss Terrence and Phillip." Cartman took his gun back and left, Kyle following him.

"Kenny, what the fuck man?" Stan knelt down next to his dead friend.

But apparently having your brains splattered everywhere doesn't kill you because he was still able to grab Stan's wrist as he stood up to leave.

He opened his mouth to say something but there was too much blood. All that came out was gurgling and bubbling blood.

When Kenny gave in and realized it wasn't going to work, he used his own blood to write on the floor in front of him:

REMEMBER THIS TIME

* * *

"Do you think my boobs are too small Bebe?" Wendy was wearing a purple see-through night gown.

Bebe was wearing a red see-through night gown. "Of course they aren't! At least they aren't huge like mine!"

Wendy grabbed Bebe's boobs.

"But yours are soft and round!"

Bebe grabbed Wendy's in return.

"Your's fit in the hand though!"

The girls giggled and awkwardly moved their hands off each other.

"Hey Wendy?"

"Yes Bebe?"

Bebe leaned in to give Wendy a kiss and –

"GODDAMMIT! EVERY DAMN TIME!" Bebe had woken up.

* * *

The boy with the blonde afro was laying in the top of a bunk bed staring at the ceiling muttering bible verses to himself. Every once in a while there were gun shots. No one noticed though, and if they did, they ignored it. People were always killing themselves here at camp new grace. He sometimes wondered where they got the guns. The boy in the lower bunk was whimpering. The one in the top closed his eyes tightly and started muttering faster. The boy in the lower bunk screamed and woke himself up, smashing his head as he sat up.

"Oh hamburgers."

the boy in the top bunk was used to it. This happened every night.

"B-Bradley?"

The boy in the lower bunk peaked over the edge of the top.

"Yea?"

"C-can I come up?"

"Sure Butters..." he started biting his nails

"Thanks B-Bradley."

Butters curled up to Bradley.

Bradley continued to mutter bible verses.

"Bradley, can you stop that?"

"S-sure Butters."

Butters gave Bradley a kiss on the cheek.

* * *

The blonde Englishman was laying in bed. The room around him was blacker than black. It made it difficult to see the other person in the room as he had black hair and clothes. But you could see his red eyes. The one with the red eyes started kissing up the blondes stomach and chest, taking off the boys shirt as he went. He paused at the collar bone and kissed, licked and sucked it. The other boy moaned tangling his hand in the black hair. The black haired boy finally worked his way up to the blondes lips. The blondes hands moved from the other boys hair to his shirt and started pulling it off. This continued until they were both naked. After they were finished they kissed and the darkness left.

The blonde boy rolled over in bed with a smile on his face, mumbling 'Damien' in his sleep.

Down in hell, Damien open his eyes.

"Good night Pip.

A boy with a green hat was walking down an empty street. It was quiet. Almost too quiet. But every once in a while he heard a noise. It stopped whenever he turned to look for it. After a while a giant frog doll jumped out in front of him. Stuffing was coming out of it's neck.

"Hi Kehal" it spoke with Cartman's voice.

"C-Clyde frog?"

"Why did you do it Kehal? Why did you rip my head off?"

"C-Cartman gave me HIV! It was pay back!"

"Pay back for what he did by decapitating me Kehal?"

"Y-yea..."

"Well Kehal, I wouldn't mind some pay back."

Clyde frog grabbed Kyle's head and –

"AAACCKK!" Kyle woke in his bed and started feeling to make sure his head was still attached.


	4. QUESTIONING random

_**100 THEME CHALLENGE**_

_** 4 – Questioning**_

_**NOTE **__So the questions in this were from one of those "pick 10 people/characters and answer the following" things and just changed slightly for this. If anyone knows me, I suck at coming up with questions. And as it's from one of those, I'm written in every once in a while._

Dougie: hi! I'm Dougie! I want to be a real news reporter when I'm older. Right now

I just report for Super School News. So let's get down to the interviews!

So Pip, I heard you invited Damien and Christophe over to dinner at your

place. How'd it go?

_Pip: Cheeri-0 Damien! Would you like to come over for dinner tonight?_

_Damien: uhh... I guess..._

_Pip: How about you Christophe?_

_Christophe: Who ze 'ell are you?_

_Pip: I'm Pip and this is Damien._

_Christophe: Why ze 'ell would I do anyzing wiz a faggy Brit like you?_

Dougie: Well that wasn't nice of him.

So Kyle, I heard that Gary kid tried to get you to go to yoga.

_Gary: Hello Kyle. Would you like to go to yoga class with me?_

_Kyle: Hell no fag!_

_Gary: Suck my balls._

Dougie: Elsie, if you had to stay at a friends house over night and could only

choose between Kenny and Cartman, who would you stay with?

Elsie: Kennys. Cartmans cool and everything, but Kenny's more fun.

Cartman: 'ey!

Elsie: What?

Cartman: He is not!

Kenny: Am too fat ass! Get used to it.

Cartman: God I hate you Kinny.

Dougie: Bradley, is it true you walked in on Butters and Tweek making out?

_Bradley: Aah!_

_Butters: B-Bradley!_

_Bradley: A man who lies with another man like a woman have committed a _

_ detestable act and shall surely be put to death!_

_Tweek: Gah! Too much pressure!_

Dougie: Christophe, I heard you became jealous when you heard Damien fell in

love with kenny.

Christophe: Why ze 'ell would I be jealous of some faggy goz kid falling een love with

some faggy 'ore?

Damien: I am not some faggy goth kid! I am the son of the Prince of Darkness,

born in the seventh circle of hell!

Christophe: uh huh.

Kenny: * perks up * you think I'm a whore?

Christophe: yez.

Kenny: * hugs Christophe before running down the street * I'm a whore! I'm a

whore!

Christophe: Well zen...

Damien: * sets guard dogs after Christophe *

Christophe: Oh sheet!

Dougie: Uhh... So Elsie, I heard Pip tried mugging you in a dark alley. What

happened?

_Pip: So sorry Elsie... But I need the money * awkwardly points gun *_

_Elsie: Pip, you ca – _

_Tweek: * runs by * Aaaah! They're after my blood! Eeeek!_

_Pip: * gets knocked over, drops gun *_

_Elsie: what the hell? * picks up gun *_

_Gnomes: Get him!_

_Elsie: Shit! Run Tweek!_

_Pip: Bloody hell..._

Dougie: Soo... Uhh... the hell? Umm... Cartman! Tell us about your cooking show.

_Cartman: So now that you've tricked your enemy into getting his parents killed and _

_ have stolen their bodies, we take a hacksaw to them. Now, after we get_

_ the meat, we make chili to feed to the goddamn ginger bastard!_

Dougie: * mumbles under breath * what the fuck is wrong with the people in this

town? * speaks up * Sounds, uhh, interesting... Damien, if you were

forced to marry Christophe, Pip or Gary, who would you choose?

Damien: why the hell would I have to marry one of them?

Dougie: it's just a question for fun...

Damien: * turns options into women * Pip makes the better looking chick.

Christophe: what ze 'ell? Turn me back asshole!

Gary: * cries * I want to go back to Utah!

Pip: oh – oh my!

Dougie: umm... Tweek!

Tweek: Gah!

Dougie: so Butters kidnapped you?

Tweek: aaaah!

_Butters: * as Professor Chaos * Kyle! If you want to see Tweek again, give me_

_ your hat!_

_Tweek: Eeeek!_

_Kyle: fuck off Butters._

_Tweek: Gah!_

Dougie: Elsie, you get to meet Cartman or Kenny, who do you choose?

Elsie: Cartman! He's awesome!

Cartman: ha! In your face Kinny!

Kenny: I'm still the fun one though, right Elsie?

Elsie: of course Kenny.

Dougie: So Bradley, why did you challenge Pip to a chariot race?

_Bradley: P-Pip, want to have a chariot race?_

_Pip: sure! But why?_

_Bradley: to run from the bad thoughts!_

Dougie: I heard everyone ganged up on you Damien.

Damien: they tried * looks over at group of platypuses * I don't think they will again

though.

Jimbo: a rare duck-billed platypus! It's coming right for us!

Ned: * shoots platypus in orange parka *

Dougie: Christophe, how do you feel about not being invited to Tweek and

Bradley's wedding?

Christophe: who are Tweek and Bradley? And why would I care about being invited to

a fag wedding?

Dougie: I don't know...

Kenny, why are you afraid of Butters?

Kenny: who said I was afraid of Butters?

Dougie: everyone?

Kenny: well it's not true!

Butters: it might be because I have this video of him where –

Kenny: shut up Butters! * grabs Butters wrist and drags him away *

Dougie: Bradley, what was that fairy tale you were telling everyone the other day?

Bradley: it wasn't a fairy tale... it was the truth.

Dougie: Well what was it?

_Bradley: none of you shall approach anyone who is near of kin to him, to uncover_

_ his nakedness. I am the Lord. The nakedness of your father or the_

_ nakedness of you mother you shall not uncover. She is you mother. You_

_ shall not uncover her nakedness._

_Cartman: shut the fuck up kid. No one wants to hear about how you fuck your mom_

_ and dad._

_Bradley: I-I do– _

_Kenny: who the fuck are you anyway?_

_Cartman: does anyone know who the fuck this kid is?_

Dougie: okay... well... umm... lets move on.

What happened at Tweek and Bradley's wedding?

_Father Maxi: does anyone have any objections?_

_Cartman: * busts through door with a Glock 17 * what the fuck is wrong with you_

_ two? Thanks to you two, I've been stuck listening to fuckin' Butters and_

_ Craig whine! I'm fuckin' sick of it! Tweek, get your ass over to Craig! _

_ Bradley, get over to fuckin' Butters! I picked up some supplies on the _

_ way over and if you people don't fuckin' smarten up I'll kill every last one_

_ of you!_

Dougie: so Elsie, what happened with you this weekend?

_Kyle: * bangs on door *_

_Elsie: what the hell? Who'd be coming over at 3am? * opens door * K-Kyle? _

_ Gary? What the hell?_

_Gary: * slurring words * Ky – … bar – … I'm... hell!_

_Kyle: hahahehahehehehahahehaha_

_Gary: * passes out *_

_Elsie: the fuck?_

Dougie: so, Christophe, I heard you had your birthday recently.

_Christophe: why would you beetches bring me to ze zoo?_

_Damien: don't look at me man._

_Kenny: * standing at bamboo cage *_

_Pip: I'm sorry Christophe! I though it might be fun!_

_Kenny: Aaaah! Fuck! Shit! * gets killed by baboons *_

_Damien: * nods head towards Kenny * well there's something fun_

Dougie: so people were protesting something at your place yesterday Elsie?

_Elsie: * watching tv and hears noise outside * what the hell? * looks out _

_ window * hey! What are you people doing out there?_

_Stan: protesting!_

_Kyle: yea!_

_Elsie: protesting what?_

_Cartman: you! Apparently..._

_Elsie: why?_

_Butters: because you killed Kenny!_

_Kyle: you bastard!_

_Elsie: then who's that * points *_

_Kenny: hey guys, what's going on?_

_Tweek: Gah!_

Dougie: so Tweek, what happened after Gary had killed your best friend?

Tweek: aaaah! Gah! Too much pressure!

Gary: * walks by with broken nose, 2 black eyes, missing some patches of hair

and innumerable cuts, scrapes and bruises *

Dougie: so Cartman, Kenny, I heard you two were in mortal danger and only one

of you could live.

Kenny: yea...

Dougie: so how'd you both get out?

_Cartman: screw you Kinny, I'm goin' home! * knocks Kenny out *_

Dougie: well that doesn't make much sense since you're Kenny's still alive, but

okay...

so Kyle, you were trapped in a cave?

_Bradley: * walking through cave to hide from bad thoughts *_

_Kyle: * echoing voice * hello? Help! Is anyone up there?_

_Bradley: h-hello?_

_Kyle: help! Down here!_

_Bradley: * looks into hole * oh! Hi! Just a second! * throws rope down *_

_Kyle: * climbs rope and gets out of hole right next to Bradley * thanks kid!_

_Bradley: aaaah! Bad thoughts! * runs away *_

_Kyle: uhh..._

Dougie: well at least he helped you out before running away.

So Damien, is there any truth behind the rumors of you starting a day

camp?

Damien: I am the son of Satan, born in the seventh circle of hell. How could

anyone think I've started a day camp?

Dougie: uhh... good point...

Christophe, you were surprised when you walked in on three boys here at

the school?

_Christophe: what ze 'ell are you pussys doing?_

_Butters: the hokey-pokey!_

_Pip: it's jolly good fun! Would you like to join?_

_Christophe: why ze 'ell would I like to join?_

_Kenny: to get laid?_

_Christophe: this town eez full of fags..._

Dougie: so butters, I heard you took up baking.

_Butters: hey guys! I made an apple pie! Want some?_

_Kyle: sure Butters._

_Stan: why not?_

_Kenny: I think I'd prefer another kind of pie..._

_Cartman: * grabs pie and runs *_

_Kyle: fat ass!_

Dougie: well... uhh... that's it for the questions I think. To tell you the truth, I'm

scared to ask the rest of the questions. The people in this town have

serious problems...

Cartman: shut up kid or I'll kick you in the nuts!

Dougie: okay! * runs away *


	5. FAIRY TALE

_**100 THEME CHALLENGE**_

_** 5 – Fairy Tale**_

_**NOTE **I wonder how many people will actually figure out how this is a South Park fanfic... But anyway, this one took longer than expected. I was originally going to go with a 'Jack and the Beanstalk' fractured fairy tale thing and was halfway through, then got the idea for this from one of the episodes. Chances are it's going to be one of the worse since I had the title, a cover and the last sentence and a half to go by and try to fit in... but anyway, here it is._

* * *

Once upon a time there was a young prince who was known throughout the land as the Bubble Gum Prince as he was always chewing on bubble gum.

One day the Bubble Gum Prince went for a walk by a pond and met a frog.

"Bubble Gum Prince! I am the Chocolate Mint Frog. I come from the Land of Chocolate and we need your help! The giant is holding our princess hostage!"

"But how do we get there?" asked the prince.

"Follow me!" and the frog jumped into the pond with the prince close behind.

On the other side of the pond was chocolate. A chocolate river, a chocolate castle, chocolate houses, chocolate trees and chocolate people.

There was also a human giant destroying everything.

"Oh my!" the prince exclaimed.

"Follow me Prince!" and the Chocolate Mint Frog hopped towards a castle. "We must get to the dungeon! Have your sword ready for the chocolate chips!"

On the way to the castle, the Bubble Gum Prince had to fight off chocolate chips.

And unfortunately for them, they were spotted but the giant.

Lucky for them however, was that the giant was fat and slow.

Finally the Bubble Gum Prince and the Chocolate Mint Frog made it to the castle and rushed down to the dungeon, fighting off chocolate chips and being followed by the giant.

They finally got down to the dungeon where Princess Pep was being kept.

"Please! Save me!" called Princess Pep.

The Bubble Gum Prince used his sword to chop off the lock.

"Oh thank you!" Princess Pep hugged the Bubble Gum Prince.

"Princess, we must save the kingdom from the giant!" said the Chocolate Mint Frog.

"Of course you're right Frog," said Princess Pep. "Bubble Gum Prince, I need your help. Can you blow a bubble to take me up to the giants eye-level?"

"Of course Princess," said the prince, bowing.

And with that, he blew a great bubble, large enough to lift both the Prince and Princess up to the giants eye-level.

"Giant! You are an evil boy! And a fat ass! You are now forever banished from this land!" shouted Princess Pep.

"You cannot banish me!" the giant thundered back.

Princess Pep then waved her hands and chocolate-covered licorice rope wrapped itself around the giant. He fell to the ground before giant chocolate birds carried him off.

"Thank you for rescuing me and my land Bubble Gum Prince," thanked the princess.

"You're welcome Princess Pep. But isn't he just going to return?" asked the prince.

"He may try, but we have now seen what he is capable of and have taken the necessary precautions to keep him out, for good."

He worried about his newfound friends, but the Bubble Gum Prince wasn't afraid. He knew that the Land of chocolate was safe, forever and ever.

* * *

_**NOTE** so I haven't gotten any of the sketches done yet. I've started them but I can't get them right. and apparently I'm pickier on what I post for the sketches than I am for writing. but meh. I'll get to it eventually._


	6. DRIVE Cartman and Karen

_**100 THEME CHALLENGE**_

_** 6 – Drive**_

_**NOTE **Took me long enough to do this one. I had started it and then thanks to no sleep (which is getting really annoying by the way), it had turned into a 20 page thing that when reread made no sense to me (although Cartman and Karen was kinda cute...) but anyway. So I scratched that, started over and got a short thing written in about half an hour. Not too happy with it but better than a 20 page thing that was still nowhere near being finished. I don't really like Cartman here since he seems too nice but meh._

* * *

"Goddammit," Cartman muttered under his breath. He smashed his thumb with the hammer again. He hated shop class. And he hated the people in it. They were the same people he went to school with since pre-school, but him and his friends had started to drift apart after high school so by now, they barely spoke. And it's not like he was well liked by anyone. Even when he had friends it wasn't exactly like they liked him was it?

"Cartman, go see the nurse."

Cartman was woken out of his daze by the teacher. "huh?"

"Go see the nurse before you get blood everywhere."

Cartman looked down. He hadn't even realized his thumb was bleeding. He walked out of class but wasn't going to go to the nurse. He didn't see the point. There was only about 15 minutes before class ended and it's not like he couldn't clean a bit of blood himself.

As he was walking down the hall, distracted by wiping the blood off with his shirt, he bumped into someone. "Sorry," he mumbled. It was easier than starting a fight.

"E-Eric? H-have you s-seen K-Kenny?"

"Karen? What's wrong?" the girl had tears shining in her blue eyes.

"T-the u-usual, ya know? And I-I c-can't f-find K-Kenny." a few tears fell from her eyes.

"Well I haven't seen him. If you need a shoulder to cry on though –."

Karen threw her arms around him and started crying into his chest. Cartman, who was not used to this, just stood there for a minute, trying to remember what to do in this kind of situation. He finally remembered that people tended to rub the crying persons back.

After a few minutes, Karen finally calmed down and pulled away. "Th-thanks Cartman," she sniffled.

"No problem." Cartman looked down at the thin brunette. She was nearly a foot and a half shorter than him. "So, schools letting out in a few minutes. Want a ride home?"

"Sure, thanks." and Karen followed Cartman out to his car.

Cartman opened the passenger side, tossed a few empty fast food containers in the back then let her in. "Sorry it's such a mess. Not used to company. And I practically live in it when I get in a bad mood."

They drove in silence to Karens house. "Well here's your stop," Cartman looked over at Karen. Her eyes and face were glistening from fresh tears.

"E-Eric, why'd you say you practically live in your car when you're in a bad mood?" she was looking at the dash in front of her.

"I like driving. It takes my mind off all the shit..."

"Well Eric, I'm in a bad mood."

"So drive?" she nodded and he pulled out of park.


	7. STRIPES Jimmy and Timmy

_**100 THEME CHALLENGE**_

_** 7 – Stripes**_

_**NOTES **got the idea for this one from a friend of mine. It was originally going to be Kyle and Christophe or Cartman. But I asked his opinion on which one to use and he ended up going on a rant about how Jimmy should use his crutches to break out of jail and so yea, here it is._

* * *

Timmy had to tell someone. He just watched his best friend kill a girl. And he tried. He ran into a couple officers.

"T-Timmeh... Jimmeh! Timmeh Timmeh Jimmeh!"

No one ever understood him. So he had to show them.

"F-follow Timmeh!" at least he could say a few words.

The officers followed him to Jimmys.

"J-Jimmeh!" he pointed to the door, behind which they found Jimmy (a quite large and muscular Jimmy) covered in blood and leaning over a badly battered woman.

As it turned out, he was charged with possession and second degree murder and was sentenced to 25 years.

As Jimmy was dragged away, he yelled at Timmy. "I-it's y-your f-f-f-fault T-Timmy! I-I'll g-g-g-get you i-if it's th-the l-last th-th-th-thing I do!"

_6 months later_

Timmy was asleep in bed when a man in striped pyjamas came through his open window. He covered Timmys mouth and nose with one hand, wrapping the other hand around Timmys neck. The last thing Timmy saw were the cold, empty, uncaring eyes of his best friend.


	8. INNOCENCE

_**100 THEME CHALLENGE**_

_** 8 – Innocence**_

"Loo loo loo I got some apples."

Almost seventeen years old and he still sings that stupid annoying song.

"Loo loo loo you've got some too."

He was cute though. He still has that cute little tuft of blonde hair. Milky white, smooth, flawless skin. Gorgeous, giant blue eyes that can definitely get me to do whatever he wants...

"Loo loo loo let's make some applesauce."

Considering how his parents treat him though, and everything he's been through, I just don't get how he can still be as cute, sweet and innocent as ever.

"Take off our clothes and loo loo loo."

That little smile he gets when he sings that line makes my heart flutter. Especially when he directs it at me.

"Loo loo loo let's get together."

His hand is so warm, it almost feels like when you put your hand near a fire. And it seems so small. Almost everything about him is small and feminine.

"I know what we can do loo loo loo."

His perfect pink lips are always so soft on my cheek. And that giggle is just so sweet... I can tell my face is turning red. It always does...


	9. BLOOD Cartman and Billy Turner

_**100 THEME CHALLENGE**_

_** 9 – Blood**_

_**NOTE **keep in mind while reading this that I was drinking while writing it..._

"You're chubby."

"Huh?"

* * *

"You're chubby."

"And who the fuck are you kid?"

"Billy Turner."

"Well fuck you Billy Turner." Cartman flipped the kid off as he walked away.

* * *

_LATER THAT DAY: LUNCH_

Cartman wrapped his arm around Billy Turners' shoulder. "Hullo there Billy."

"H-hi..."

Cartman picked up Billys drink. "So you got some chocolate milk huh?"

"Y-yeah..."

"Kewl." Cartman set the milk back down on Billy's tray and left.

All throughout lunch Cartman watched little Billy. When Billy got up, Cartman followed. Then, just as the bell for the end of lunch rang, Cartman saw his chance. He followed Billy inyo the washroom. By time Billy was finished, Cartman was sure the halls would be empty. He had a cloth with chloroform and before Billy reached the door, Cartman jumped from behind and covered the smaller boys mouth and nose with it. He'd prefer to not have, but he couldn't chance the kid ruining his plan with screaming or fighting.

He dragged the kid out of the bathroom, down the hall, outside and to the flag pole, cuffing him to it by his ankle. Cartman stood there, staring at the boy waiting for him to wake up. When he finally did, Cartman started talking.

"So, you think it's _funny _to call people chubby, Billy?"

Poor Billy was still disoriented and didn't fully understand and just blinked up at Cartman. His head hurt, he had a metallic taste in his mouth and his throat was sore.

Cartman knelt down and grabbed the boys hair, pulling his head back roughly so the small boy was looking up at him. "I'll ask this one more time. Do you think it's _funny _to call people chubby, Billy?"

"N-no! Not at all! I-I ju–"

"Well, let's see how funny you think it is being chained to this flag pole," Cartman stood up, "dying from the poison I put in your milk, with the only way to live being to cut your foot off with this hacksaw," Cartman threw the hacksaw down at the boy, "to get to the antidote I'm putting over," he walked across the street, "hyah." He then left to watch his work in a spot where he wouldn't be seen if someone found the kid.

Billy say there for a moment stunned. What the fuck? He had heard this kid had issues, but is he really doing this just because he had called him chubby?

Eventually Billy came to his senses and started calling for help until his voice was hoarse. Cartman giggled from where he was watching. Where the fuck was everyone? If that fat ass had poisoned him, how much longer did he have before it did him in? He looked at what kept him chained to the flagpole. He took his shoe off and tried to pull it out. But it wouldn't come out. And he sure couldn't break it. Damn.

Obviously the fat bastard was right. He'd have to cut his foot off. Picking up the hacksaw, he looked it over. It wasn't exactly the newest thing and it was kind of rusty. Jabbing his thumb to it he realized it was at least sharper than it looked and drew some blood.

He held the blade of the hacksaw to his ankle. Taking a deep breath while squinting his eyes tightly he looked up at the sky, pressed the blade in and –

"AAAAHHHCCKKK! GODDAMN MOTHER FUCKIN'!"

Well that obviously wasn't going to work. Billy pulled his coat off, shoving his sleeve into his mouth. Biting on that, he decided to try again.

His eyes overflowed with tears as his coat muffled his screams and he slowly sawed through the little amount of skin, fat and muscle on his ankle. Through his tear-blurred vision, all he saw was red as the white of the snow faded. He wiped away the tears and was left with a salty, coppery taste in his mouth.

He continued to saw until the blade got stuck. He's hit bone. So what was he supposed to do now? The blade wouldn't saw through the bone. He was light headed and just stared at the blood.

He passed out thinking about how warm he felt, even though he was laying in the snow with 1 shoe and a t-shirt.


	10. MIRROR Samantha Dunskin

_**100 THEME CHALLENGE**_

_** 10 – Mirror**_

_**NOTE **again, drinking while writing this... but I am not a drunk! There's only so long you can keep an open bottle..._

Samantha Dunskin was 16 and in high school now. But she was still just as unpopular as ever. Sure, she had gotten some positive attention back in the fourth grade – from the girls at least – for being able to queef whenever she wanted to, but that was short lived.

Tonight she was doing what she did almost every night. She stood in front of her full length mirror, completely naked, looking at herself. Trying to find ways to change her appearance enough that people would like her. Summer vacation was the best time to change yourself after all.

Maybe if she died her hair? Hers was sort of gray. Like an old woman. Wendy was the most popular girl in school. Maybe she should try black like her. Or blonde like Bebe. There was no doubt in anyone's mind that Bebe was the hot one that all the boys wanted to be with. Or Red. Everyone wants to try a redhead at least once right? But with her freckles, Samantha would just look like a ginger and everyone's been a little scared of gingers since that time Eric Cartman had talked them into killing everyone. And that time that they _really_ wanted Muhammad.

And about the freckles, maybe she could try some makeup? But her parents won't let her wear makeup until she's 18. and baby powder didn't work. She had tried that in sixth grade.

Boob job maybe? She was smaller up top than the other girls.

And she was the fattest girl in class. But she was already constantly dieting and exercising. But nothing she did seemed to help and she couldn't lose it. To make matters worse, even Cartman had lost some weight and was now able to call her fat ass without people pointing out that he was one too!

After a while of pulling, poking, prodding and everything else she did to herself, she covered her mirror in an old sheet like she did every night, swearing to herself she wouldn't look again like she always did.

She finished getting into her pyjamas, crawled into bed, pulled the blanket up over her head and silently cried herself to sleep like usual.


	11. WINGS

_**100 THEME CHALLENGE**_

_** 11 – Wings**_

He should be up in the fluffiness of heaven with wings of soft white feathers. With his blue eyes and golden white locks, he looks like the angel he should be. He's always been kind and sweet, looking for the beauty in everything and best in everyone. But he's not there. He's here with me, no wings of his own. He's forced to stay with me in hell. No kindness or beauty save for him. It's my fault he's here. But neither of us would have it any other way.


End file.
